The Lemon Chronicles
by Maliciously Creative
Summary: Series of oneshots featuring lemons the smut and the fruit. Various pairings. First story: Lemon Meringue Pie. On hold while I finish other fics first…
1. Short Random Story and Table of Contents

**The Lemon Chronicles**

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto; Kishimoto-sama does. If I owned Naruto, there would be a lot of stories like the ones you'll be reading here. It breaks my evil heart that I don't own it, but somehow I go on…

**Warning: **These are all YAOI. That means boy on boy smut. These are going to be a little more… smutty than anything I've ever written before. XD So you'll only be finding edited versions here. That of course doesn't mean there's no plot and not worth reading. Complete versions will be found on my Livejournal page and eventually deviantArt and everyplace else post as soon as they decide to cooperate with me. -.-

**Pairings:** Varies, at the top of each story you will find what the pairings are. I hope you'll still read even if the pairing is not your usual cup of tea. I really would like to know what you think of my smut skills.

**Note:** Since author notes and such are not allowed for whole chapters, after the table of contents you will find a semi-short, really pointless story that I had fun writing in my planner at work during my breaks the other night. It's much longer than the notes up here so hopefully no one will mind. I'd hate for this to get yanked down. The reason I'm doing it like this, is because I really don't want to write the warnings and disclaimers over and over again. I'm lazy, okay? I hope you enjoy it. There is no smut but it is a little on the cute side and definitely shounen-ai. So again, enjoy!

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**Table of Contents**

Lemon One: Lemon Meringue Pie

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* * *

**Such Is Fate**

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Once upon a time there was a too cute for his own good boy named Naruto. Because he was so cute he was irresistible to many… or at least he would be if not for the fact the poor boy had a demon sealed into his navel shortly after his birth by the Hokage at the time, Yondaime. By sealing the demon into Naruto, the village was saved. It was the dying wish of Yondaime that the child would be seen as a hero for his sacrifice. Alas, it was not to be because the village saw Naruto as the demon and not as Naruto.

The majority of the village was very judgmental not only of Naruto but of many others. Thus they were complete and total asses who were unable to respect the last wishes of the dead. So because of this only a few have the courage and nerve to be openly friendly and attracted to kitsune boy who as mentioned before is too cute for his own good. Unfortunately or fortunately – depending on how want to see it, Naruto attracts very unstable yet sexy boys. Because of their mental instability they don't care what anyone says or thinks and sees Naruto for the too cute for his own good boy he is.

Case in point, Uchiha Itachi. Itachi obviously has no care for the opinions of others because if he did he wouldn't have massacred his whole clan except for his younger brother, Sasuke. So no, Itachi doesn't give a fuck what the world thinks and thus has no problem showing affection and lust for the too cute for his own good boy. It is not unusual to see the older Uchiha tying to molest the too cute for his own good boy or try to kidnap him so he doesn't have make the trip all the way to Konoha to happily fuck his brains out.

As for Itachi's brother Sasuke, he really doesn't care what anyone thinks either because he's too busy obsessing over killing his brother Itachi for what he did to the clan and for trying to take Naruto away from him time and time again. Naruto belongs to him and no one else… or at least that's what he chants in his head every night before he goes to sleep, right after he repeats his vow to kill Itachi. Because Itachi murdered the clan and left him all alone, poor Sasuke's mentally unstable as well. Sasuke has proven this more than once. The most traumatic being when Sasuke nearly killed the too cute for his own good boy and ran off with that nasty snake man, Orochimaru. So even though Sasuke nearly killed poor Naruto, he's still attracted to him and majorly obsessed with him. After all, you always hurt the ones you love.

Another mentally unstable boy is Gaara. Gaara is majorly sleep deprived, likes to kill people and is in serious need of a hug. Like Naruto, Gaara also had a demon sealed into him. He was shunned by the village, his own father tried to kill him… So he and Naruto have a few things in common. Naturally, Gaara is attracted to him (even though he has yet to do anything about that attraction). After all, why wouldn't he be? Naruto is cute and treats him like anyone else. That and Naruto kicked his cute little ass too. I suspect Gaara likes it '_rough'_.

Our final mentally unstable boy is Neji. Neji is royally fucked up and obsessed with fate, destiny and Naruto's cute little ass. Poor Neji is also in serious need of a hug and mood altering drugs. Neji is so fucked up it would not surprise me if Neji took a cue from Itachi and murdered his whole clan except for Hanabi since he has already tried to kill poor Hinata once. Because Naruto kicked his ass, Neji has a slight obsession over the too cute for his own good boy as well. It's a classic scenario, girl beats boys up and boy develops a crush. While Naruto is technically not a girl, he is definitely uke material and has girly tendencies. Often the boy haunts Neji's thoughts and if his uncle Hiashi knew what exactly those thoughts involved, he'd be far from pleased. But Neji really doesn't care what he or anyone else thinks because he's too busy being an angsty, fate, destiny and Naruto obsessed punk.

So here we have the four most prominent and sexy boys; Uchiha Itachi, Uchiha Sasuke, Gaara (no last name like Prince and Madonna) and Hyuuga Neji all vying for our little Naruto's love and attention because that's while mentally unstable, love starved boys do. Poor Naruto, how will he ever choose? Most importantly will any of them ever ask him out and court him properly instead of using him as a took cute for his own good fuck toy? Unfortunately, as love starved mentally unstable boys they also have attachment and commitment issues.

So, often poor Naruto is left all alone wondering why he doesn't have the same kind of love everyone else around him has. He often ponders his fate and lot in life as he stares out at the starry sky wondering if he'll ever have someone to share his soul with, to belong to only one person and vice versa. Will he ever be allowed one happy moment outside seemingly meaningless but pleasurable and spine numbing sex. Will anyone ever say, 'I love you' and ask for or expect nothing in return. Is it really too much to ask for?

"Is it really too much to ask for?" He asked the stars in the sky, foolishly hoping they might answer back. But alas they never do because they were stars. Should he have actually heard them 'answer', it would mean he had completely lost his marbles and become a mentally unstable boy too who was too cute for his own good.

On this night that he was bemoaning his fate, he looked down to the street outside his home. The sight he beheld was unlike anything he had ever seen or for that matter thought he would. As smile graced his lips and he listened to the voices below. The three men of his affection and heartache were below, arguing with each other as they were prone to do whenever they caught sight of each other. But tonight, he was the subject of their strife.

"Itachi! What are you doing here?" The younger Uchiha screeched like the little drama queen he was whenever Itachi was involved.

"Foolish little brother. I never realized you were stupid **and** weak… I'm here to see my beloved and too cute for his own good kitsune." The sexy and evil boy, calmly answered.

"So you can have your way with him? Over my cold, rotting, dead body! He's mine, damn it!"

"Yours? I hardly think so. After tonight, he will belong to me and only me. So go home and cry in your pillow… foolish little brother." Itachi taunted poor Sasuke because not only was it fun but it was what he did best.

"Like hell I will! I'm going to ask Naruto to be only mine tonight! So why don't you leave town and go play with your Akatsuki pals!"

"No. You go."

"No, you!"

"You."

"You!"

"You."

"You!"

"You."

"You!"

"Hmph. Stupid Uchiha's think they own the freaking world. It is my destiny to make Naruto mine, so you two need to leave. I don't want your whiny asses ruining the mood or disturbing us!"

"Cram it, Hyuuga!" Sasuke shouted at Neji.

"Indeed." Itachi added.

"Naruto loves me best!" Sasuke shouted at his two romantic rivals.

"Like hell he does!" Itachi roared, "He loves me best!"

"No, me!"

"Me!"

"Me!"

The Uchiha brothers bickered back and forth as Neji watched the two silently and annoyed. Deciding that he could see his precious Naru-chan first and ask that he'd be more than a lover and have his heart just for himself; he began to climb the stairs leading to the kitsune's apartment.

"Don't even think about it, Hyuuga!" The Uchiha brothers roared.

"Fuck you! I'm asking Naruto to be exclusively mine tonight and you can't stop me! It's destiny for me to be with him and you can't stop destiny!"

The three men bickered back and forth, each declaring that Naruto belonged only to themselves and that they were going to be happy to the end of their days. Naruto shook his head, unsure whether he should be happy, concerned or annoyed. Each boy wanted him to be theirs only, but if the arguing continued it would come to blows and someone might end up dead. At the same time it was kind of annoying too. What was he; a piece of meat? Stupid assholes. Just because he'd sleep with them didn't mean they could own him. He was a human being damn it!

Looking up the starry sky with the arguing voices drifting up to his ears he asked, "Why me?"


	2. Lemon One: Lemon Meringue Pie

**The Lemon Chronicles**

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Okay I started this and finished this last year… I think. I got the idea after Sekra and I were talking about lemons (the smut). I thought it would be cool to make a fic with a lemon theme – the smut and the fruit. I started thinking of lemon meringue pie and how it could be used in a kinky way (yes, I do think that way). I had thought about using it for a SasuNaru but not too long after that ladychimera announced her Chouji Fest. She was looking for fics, art, etc. Since no one had volunteered to do a fic, I decided to give it a shot. So here we go. I'm not exactly sure what came over me. I don't think I'll ever write this pairing again, although I am semi-proud of how the lemon came out. I know I could do better, I just need to practice beyong the masturbation and heavy petting I ususally write.

This is the edited version because of well… go to my livejournal and deviantArt pages to read the complete and glorious smut. As soon as the fanfiction sites stop jacking up my text, it'll be there too. I was going to post this earlier because it has a slight Valentines day theme but I got reported for another fic and got locked out for a week. And then I decided to do some formating in the way of a table of contents and explaination page. So here we go... finally.

**Summary:** Chouji thinks about his relationship with Shikamaru – where it is and how it started. Valentines Day fluffy smut.

**Pairing:** ShikaChou

**Warning:** Yaoi (duh!), shounen ai, smut and all the wonderful things that make me happy. Don't like, don't read. I will beat you down if you go on about how ShikaChou is wrong, yaoi is wrong, blah, blah, blah. I'm not exactly a big fan of the painring but I wrote it anyway. XP

Special thanks to Sekra for the original inspiration.

Love and adoration to Wowie for beta reading.

Dedicated to ladychimera for her Chouji Fest.

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**Lemon Meringue Pie**

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Ya know… sometimes I wonder how all of this happened. I never really saw it coming. It never occurred to me that I was attracted to him in that way and vice versa. He'd always been my best friend. For a long time he was my only friend. He looked past the shell; it didn't matter to him. I guess I've always loved him simply for that; for being himself. He's always believed in me even though everyone else thought otherwise. I have lots of friends now… well a lot for me. But they're good friends who like me simply because they do. All you really need is one good friend. One good friend is worth a hundred ordinary friends and acquaintances and I'm fortunate to have several.

At first it was simply sexual. He touched me, I touched him. He always started it, each and every time. It surprised me at first but I quickly craved his touches. I wondered when he would touch me again, when I would taste his lips dripping with my seed. For a lazy bastard, he gives the most amazing blow jobs… but then he is a genius. He's lazy as hell, but a genius none the less.

I remember when he kissed me for the first time; we were eating lemon meringue pie. My mother had made it and I decided I was going to share some with him… he's the only one I'd ever share anything with. Sometimes I think he's just too skinny. I finally found him in his favorite cloud watching spot in a grove. He was able to lie in the shade and still have an unobtrusive view of the sky.

* * *

"Hey Shikamaru! My mom made this great pie, you should try it! It's really good!" 

"No thanks. Eating is too troublesome."

"Sigh. See Shikamaru, that's why you're so skinny. Ever since you moved out on your own, you've had no one around to force you to eat. You're wasting away… pretty soon you're going to have a better figure than Ino!" I laugh.

"I wouldn't let her hear that if I were you." He mumbles.

"I'm many things Shikamaru, but stupid and suicidal is not one of them."

He laughs softly.

"C'mon, have some of my mom's pie. It's really good…"

"Sigh. You're not going to leave me alone until I do, are you?"

I smile, "You know me so well."

"Alright, give me the damn pie."

I grin happily as I open up the box and pull out some plates and forks. Prying a slice out for him, I put it on the plate and hand it to him with a fork.

"Arigato." He mumbles and I serve a slice for myself.

"Itadakimasu!" I shout happily.

"Itadakimasu."

We eat in silence, enjoying each other's company. When he finishes I force another slice into him and then 2 more after that.

"Chouji, I can't eat anymore!" He groans when I try to force a 5th slice. "If I eat anymore I'll burst! Do you realize how troublesome that is?"

I look at his grumpy face and smile when I notice a dab of meringue on the tip of his nose. I lean over and lick the meringue from the tip of his nose. I don't know why I did it… it just seems the thing to do at the time. He blushes fiercely and I can't help but think he looks awfully cute. It's interesting to see him flustered. He's usually so cool and nonchalant because everything else is too 'troublesome'.

"What the hell was that for!"

"You had some meringue on the tip of your nose," I smile again. "It seemed a shame to let it go to waste."

"You could have just said something…" He stares at the ground, blushing even harder than before.

"What's the matter Shikamaru? Getting a little hot under the collar?" I tease.

He glares slightly before getting an odd look in his eyes. He reaches over to the pie, dips two fingers into the meringue and smears them on my lips. Before I can even ask why he did that, his tongue licks it off and then kisses me. It's only natural that I blush fiercely, what he did was very deliberate!

"What's the matter Chouji? Getting a little hot under the collar?" He teases me in the same tone I used.

I stare at the ground, my thoughts bouncing around in my head in utter chaos. What the hell is he thinking!

"Now we're even." He smirks.

"How the hell is that even? You kissed me! You just took my first kiss!" I shout.

He looks thoughtful as he thinks of what I guess is a retort or solution. I wish he'd fucking say something already. I swallow hard as fear and anticipation fills me. It felt nice when he kissed me. Is that wrong? We're both guys… but then so are Naruto and Sasuke… and Neji. It doesn't bother them, and it never bothered me when they were or are together. I still remember thinking how lucky Naruto was to have the two of them fight over him and his affection. Although at the time he didn't feel that way.

"Well then, the only way to make this even is for you to kiss me." He finally speaks.

"What?"

"You can kiss me. Then we'll be even." He smirks.

The smug little bastard probably thinks I won't do it… but then he knows me very well. Maybe he expects me to kiss him because I think he thinks I won't do it? He is so sneaky… it makes me dizzy.

"Well? I'm waiting…"

Him kissing me did feel kind of nice…

"Fine." I pout as I lean over to kiss him.

As soon as my lips touch his, he presses forward kissing me back. I let small gasp slip out and the sneaky bastard slips his tongue in, pulling me closer to him. His tongue caresses mine and the roof of my mouth. This is really nice. Now I know why Naruto had that silly grin on his face whenever Sasuke or Neji kissed him… Sasuke must be a really good kisser to have won Naruto in the end. Finally we pull away and I find myself blushing madly again while he has a very smug smirk on his face. Yeah, he definitely planned that.

"There, we're even now." He drawls.

"Like hell we are! You shoved your tongue practically down my throat!"

"Well, I suppose we'll just have to even the score again… Okay, you can shove your tongue down my throat." He smiles slightly.

"Fine." I glare but inside I'm burning up. I really want this… I want this and more.

I lean over again to kiss his lips when he opens his mouth against mine, inviting me in. Tentatively, I accept and shyly slide my tongue inside. It's warm, moist and sweet. It's like heaven. Again he pulls me closer and deepens the kiss. Just when I think I'll never take another breath again, we pull away. I pant lightly while he continues to smirk smugly.

"Well, are you satisfied now?"

"Shikamaru," I smile, "You taste like pie!"

Shikamaru falls on to his back with his arms stretched out by his side and groans, "God damn it, Chouji… you and food!"

"What? I like pie… Can I have some more?" I ask shyly.

Shikamaru grinned and leaned forward and over me, "You and food, Chouji…" And he once again stole my lips, my tongue and my breath.

* * *

Ya know, now that I think about it, it always starts with lemon meringue pie. After that first kiss, we kissed often when we were alone, away from judgmental eyes. Each kiss was always as good as the first and on some rare occasions even better. It's even more special after he comes back from a long mission. The kisses are better, the blow jobs are mind numbing and the sex… it could melt your spine. He becomes very amorous when we're separated for more than two weeks. 

The very first time he went down on me, he'd been away for a month. Once again the lemon meringue pie surfaced as we drank sake to celebrate his return from what he called the mission from hell.

We were sitting on his couch and had finally finished off the bottle of sake and most of the pie. All that was left was one lonely piece. I was tempted to eat it, but right now I was more focused on Shikamaru's smirking lips. I love those lips. I love to taste them. I love to lick them. And I love to kiss them.

* * *

"What?" I ask. 

"Remember the last time we had some of your mother's lemon meringue pie?" His look was almost predatory.

"Yeah… you kissed me." I blushed. Four months, and I still blush.

"Yeah…" He leans over me, kissing my lips and neck.

God it feels so good. The way he kisses, licks and nibbles is just so… words can't describe how I feel inside. For the first time ever he does something different. His hand is rubbing against my crotch and it feels so good it's making me hard.

"Shika…" I moan.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asks concerned and slightly disappointed.

"No… I'm just…"

"Nervous? Don't be." He smiles gently into my eyes. "I promise I won't hurt you and you will definitely enjoy it. Will you trust me?"

"Always." I nod.

He leans into kiss me again and his hand returns to rubbing me. I sigh in pleasure as the pressure and friction increases. I wonder how far is he going to go with this? He keeps this up and I'm going to have to jack off in his bathroom. My question is quickly answered as his hand slips past my fly into my boxers. His calloused hands stroke my growing erection. I moan as my hips thrust up search for more friction. His tongue slips into my mouth feverishly as his hand picks up it's pace.

"Shika… you need to stop. I'm going to cum if you keep going." I whimper.

"That's the idea, Chouji." He grins before returning to my neck, "I promised you were going to enjoy this…"

I whimper when he removes his hot hand from my throbbing cock. I look at him confused as he sits up. Before I can even ask what he's doing, he reaches over to the last slice of pie and dips his fingers into the meringue. Pulling out a good sized dab he holds it up to his face, smiling almost evilly.

"Remember how I stole your first kiss?"

"Y-yes…"

"This is going to be even more fun…" He smirks.

* * *

**Edited out because ffnet is no fun.**

**-.-**

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* * *

**

When he crawls back up to my face, I lean up and lick the last of my seed off of his chin and lips. He kisses me and my head swims as I taste myself in his mouth. I moan and purr happily.

"Did you enjoy that?"

"God, yes… where the hell did you learn to do that?"

"Naruto." That son of a bitch answers… I know it's only… well, whatever it is we have. But I really don't like the idea of him doing this with Naruto. And what the fuck about Sasuke?

"What?" I glare.

The son of bitch laughs, "It's not what you think." He smiles and kisses my nose, "Naruto gets very graphic when he's explaining **why** and **what** he misses about Sasuke."

"You're kidding."

"Nope. Two days into the mission and he started moping. A week after that he started getting really graphic. I think Kiba might actually be traumatized for life. Sigh. Naruto and Sasuke are probably screwing each other's brains out right now… and probably will be for the next 3 days. But all in all, it was very educational." He smirks.

"Wow. Naruto's really lucky…"

"And you're not?"

"Only because Naruto is."

"How do you figure that?"

"Well he's got Sasuke… if he didn't, Naruto wouldn't have graphic details and pointers to give… probably. But then he did have two guys after him so he probably would have tales to tell anyway."

"Four."

"Huh?"

"He had at least four trying to get into his pants. And I know there is or was at least one person who had a crush but I suspect that number may be as high as 5."

"You're kidding! Who!"

Shikamaru leisurely stroked my face and fiddled with my hair, "Well, you know about Sasuke and Neji pursuing him right?"

"Yeah, obviously."

"Well, Gaara of the Sand also has a thing for him. And so does Sasuke's brother, Itachi."

"Are you serious!" Shika nods his head. "Is it just me or does he attract mentally unstable boys like a magnet?"

"No. He is a psycho magnet. I'm not sure why though. As for the people who have crushes on him, Hinata is obviously one. I'm suspecting Kiba, Shino, Lee and Temari."

"Really?"

Shikamaru kissed me again, "Really."

"Ne, Shika… can you kiss me again? You taste really good…" I grinned and leaned up to kiss him.

* * *

God, that was an unbelievable night. He sucked me off three more times after that and only allowed me to return the favor once. I still get shivers and hard just thinking about it. We got a lot of use out of that last slice of pie. I wonder what my mother would think if she knew what we were doing together and how we were using her pies? 

I wonder what she puts in them? We've only had them three times and it just seems to make Shika horny as hell. Every time we eat it, he takes things one step higher. I wonder what comes after sex? Will he find someone else and begin the cycle again? Don't think I ever want to eat another slice as long as I live if that's the case. Although, I did have a really good time last time we had some. It had to be the most interesting birthday I had ever shared with Shikamaru.

My mother had baked another lemon meringue pie for his birthday since he seemed to enjoy them so much. Gods, if she only knew why… She might never bake anything ever again! Then my dad would really murder me. Not only is his son screwing around with another guy who is also a childhood friend, but I would have also traumatized my mother to stop baking.

My father always said that the first thing that attracted him to her was her baking. It sounds horrible, but it really wasn't. He had followed a wonderful aroma to her parents kitchen and when he saw her, he knew she was the woman for him. It's corny. But my mother also says that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. They're perfect for each other.

I wonder if Shika feels the same way about me? I can't imagine anyone else by my side. I don't want anyone else at my side… hmm… the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Maybe I'm already there. Damn… that's why I'm always on the bottom.

* * *

"Chouji!" 

"Hai, kaa-san?" I trudged into the kitchen.

"I made a pie for Shikamaru's birthday; why don't you take it over to him now?"

"Okay. What kind is it?"

"Lemon meringue." My mother smiles at me. "He always seems to enjoy it…"

"Oh." A shiver runs down my spine. Lemon meringue… if the last two times are any indication, something new is happening tonight. The only thing we haven't done is… **it**. Is that what's going to happen tonight? It's a little scary that we might actually do that. I don't want to give it to just anyone… not that Shikamaru is just anyone. I want to but… that act above all things is special; sacred. It isn't as fleeting as a kiss or as casual as a blow job; despite how pleasurable both are.

But sex… no, the act of lovemaking is not something you do nonchalantly. The first time is special… it's supposed to be. Shikamaru is special to me, but just how special am I to him? Do the kisses, the caresses, the touches and mind numbing blow jobs mean anything to him? Am I just a plaything? He's never said he loves me in the past six months… everything is the same now as it was before that first kiss. We're friends… only now with privileges.

So, if it comes to that… do I give him **THAT** privilege? I've let him do everything else he wanted because I wanted it too. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to feel his mouth around my throbbing cock. I wanted to taste my seed upon his lips and his upon mine… I want to feel him inside me, but should I ignore that his feelings might not the same as mine?

I lift my hand and knock on his door as anxiety runs rampant. Whatever happens, happens. Besides, he might not even want me for that. I'm probably just worrying over nothing… and yet, I feel so sad. The door opens and reveals his sleepy face.

"Chouji, what are you doing here so early in the damn morning?"

"Shikamaru, it's 3:27 PM! Morning ended over 3 hours ago you lazy bum!"

"Mou, not so loud." He stands aside to let me in, "What are you doing here? Not that I don't appreciate it." He closes the door and kisses my blushing cheek.

"It's your birthday, remember? My mom made you a pie…"

"Really? What kind?" He takes it from my hands and sets it on the table.

"… Lemon meringue."

The smirk on his face is absolutely obscene and lecherous. I can just see the perverted wheels in his head turning. I think he's gone on one too many missions with Naruto and his graphic stories.

"Really?"

"Yes…"

"You know, whenever I have your mom's lemon meringue pie…"

"Yeah, I realized that as I was coming over here." I blush. God this is embarrassing… and slightly weird.

"So then, are you going to be my present?"

"Actually, I already got you something."

"Oh?" He pouts, obviously disappointed. "What is it?"

"An alarm clock, so your lazy ass isn't in bed at 3 in the afternoon!"

"Don't want it. Prefer you instead…" He pushes me to the couch and falls onto me. "You know, you're cute when you blush…" He strokes my cheek languidly before kissing my lips. "And your lips always taste a little on the sweet side…"

"So that's why you kiss me all the time…"

"I suppose… probably. You want to give me something special for my birthday? Eighteen is a special number, so the gift should be as well."

"Ah, but the clock is special." I tease.

"Somehow I doubt that."

"It blares obscenities if you try and ignore it. The shopkeeper called it the Naruto edition."

"Meh, I spend enough time with the lunatic. I don't need to hear his annoying voice every morning."

"Yeah, but it would get you up!"

"You're still better than an alarm clock, even if it is 'the Naruto edition'. Give it to Sasuke… he can hump it while Naruto is out on missions." He smirks and kisses my neck.

"Somehow I don't think Sasuke would appreciate it as much."

"And I should? I'd rather have you as my alarm clock." He nuzzles my neck before getting up and walking to the kitchen table, "C'mon, let's have some pie while we decide what you're going to give me for my birthday…"

"Right, like you haven't even decided yet…"

"Perhaps, but there's only one way to find out. C'mon Chouji, have some _pie_." He smirks.

**-** **-** **-** **-** **-**

An hour later we finish up the pie and Shikamaru's got that look in his eyes again as he licks the last of the meringue off of his fingers suggestively. It's the same look he had when he took my first kiss and when he gave me that first blow job. It's the look that says, 'How will I molest Chouji this time?' Of course it's a look I don't mind in the least.

"I think I know what I want for my birthday now…" He leers.

"Do you now?"

"You."

"What do you mean exactly?" I swallow hard.

"I want you… all of you." He leans forward and grazes his lips against mine and I shudder. "Can I have you?"

"You already do."

Sigh. What the hell. Might as well. It's not like I could ever say no to him. No to those hungry eyes. No to those passionate lips. No to that talented tongue of his. I can't do it. I crumple like a bag of chips. I want this. I want this badly. Even if he doesn't love me, I'll give this to him. I want to feel him inside…

"Ah." He smiles and kisses my lips gently before licking my bottom lip, signaling for me to open up and let him into my mouth.

The kiss his fierce and passionate before he breaks away and stands up, "C'mon then…" He extends his hand out to me; I take it and he guides me into the bedroom.

The bedroom… will I come to regret this? No. He's the only one I'd ever want to give this to. I'd give him everything else if he asked, so why not this? He leads me to the bed and sits on the edge, guiding me down next to him. I will not regret this… I'm nervous as hell though.

* * *

**Also edited out because ffnet is no fun.**

**-.-**

**

* * *

**

"Happy Birthday, Shikamaru." I smile.

Shika kisses my lips and smiles sweetly, "Thank you, Chouji. You're the best gift I ever got…"

* * *

God, it's hard to believe that was only five months ago. Five months of sleeping and living together. It was kind of funny actually. A week after his birthday, he informed me that I would be moving in with him because it was silly and troublesome if his 'alarm clock' lived elsewhere… and it was easier to molest me if I was right there. At first I wasn't too keen on the idea of moving out, but he pointed out that one night he just 'might wander over and make so much noise my parents would definitely catch us in the act'. Little bastard can be so manipulative. I suppose one day I'm going to have to tell them. Just last week my mom tried to fix me up with the baker's daughter. Shikamaru was not pleased. It's cute that he gets jealous. Of course I always have to make it up to him and remind him that I want to be with him and not some silly girl. 

Damn it, where the hell is Shika? I can't believe he woke up before me! I don't think he's ever done that on his own… ever! Maybe something happened? I should get up but I'm feeling a little sore right now. Damn, he was really horny last night. You'd think he'd eaten two of those pies all by himself! Not that I mind it but it makes walking a little awkward. Sigh. He's been gone for a while. His side of the bed is already cool. It's been an interesting eleven months. I never dreamed I'd be lying here a year ago… of course I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would kiss Shika much less be sleeping with him. But in a way, this is like a dream… the best dream I've ever had. I hope I never wake up.

I hear the front door open and close before I hear Shika curse how troublesome the cold is outside. I smile and laugh to myself. I sit up in bed to try and get out and dull pain emanates from my tail bone. Before I can climb out Shika comes in, stripping his clothes off.

"You're getting up? How troublesome. Who will keep me warm?" Shika whines before sighing dramatically.

"Sigh. Shika… I'll keep you warm." I smile at my lovers antics.

Climbing back into bed, he curls into my side and smiles contently.

"Geez Shika, you're so cold!"

"And you're so warm." He kisses and nuzzles my neck.

"Where'd you go so early in the morning? I don't think you've ever woken up so early on your own."

"Your parents house."

"Why?"

"To get a pie from your mother…" Shika leers and I know exactly what kind it is.

"Lemon meringue?"

"Yup."

"Don't want it."

"Wha-what! Chouji, are you feeling well!" Shika eyes widen and he feels my forehead for any possible fever.

"I feel fine. And I'm perfectly happy the way things are."

"What the hell does that have to do with pie?"

"Every time we have that pie you take things one step higher. What comes after sex, Shika…? What if you leave me to begin the cycle with someone else?"

"What the hell! Why the hell would you ever think that!"

"Well… why wouldn't you? I don't even know what we are exactly and I've been afraid to ask…"

"Chouji… I don't want to be with anyone else. If I did, I wouldn't be here. I thought you understood that."

"But you never said…"

"Do I have to say, 'I love you'? I thought it would be obvious that I did."

"Excuse me for not be a psychic or genius…"

"Chouji, I love you." Shika looks into my eyes and smiles gently. "The pie never determined what I feel… it just gave me a little to courage to make a move. That and it's fun to play with."

His lips kiss my mine and they wash away my doubts and anxiety. I feel a weight lift from my soul that I hadn't realized was there. He's loved me all this time after all.

"Chouji, did you really think I didn't love you?"

"Well…"

"And you still let me do all that, for all this time?"

"Sigh. Yeah… I wanted it to be you."

"You're so silly. How troublesome… you know you're going to have to make it up to me don't you? Having no faith in your boyfriend and lover. Shameful. Simply shameful."

"Shika…"

"C'mon, lets go have some pie. You're going to need your strength if you're going to make it up to me properly." Shika leers and pulls me out of the bed behind him.

"Sex fiend…"

"Heh. And after you've properly made it up to me, we're telling your parents about us."

"What!"

"I'm tired of her trying to fix you up with silly girls. You're mine. I love you. And if she keeps trying to fix you up I'm going to really lose it. That's really troublesome, you know that don't you?"

"But… what if they…"

"If they love you half as much as I do, they'll be okay with it. Have a little faith Chouji. We all want you to be happy… you are happy aren't you?"

"Very." I smile widely.

"Happy Valentines Day, Chouji." Shika kisses me again and we sit at the table.

Shikamaru smirks at the pie, dips two fingers in, scoops out a glob and holds it to my lips.

"Have some pie, Chouji."

I take the fingers into my mouth and suck and lick them clean before kissing him.

"Happy Valentines Day, Shika."

* * *

-

Well there you have it. What do you think, aside from the pairing or overall? I really want and need to know. Feedback will feed my ego and help me focus better on the next story which is currently titled Lemonade and the pairing is ItaNaru. I've already started it, I just need to get my butt in gear. So let me know what you thought worked and what didn't. And I really don't wanna hear any complaints about the pairing. It was a one time deal just for ladychimera. So, we will now return to our regularly scheduled smut! Oh look there's another SasuNaru one-shot…made you look! XD Yes, I am childish. I admit and embrace it!


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